sleepysince she left on tuesday I think I've only spoken to clerks at stores and then the pizza guy yesterday. this happens when you leave me alone. I am only just now starting to feel a little like my universe is coming unhinged from the real universe and I am thinking I should go to the zen center tomorrow to see someone besides the cats although I never actually talk to anyone there so that wouldn't be the point. I've gotten to where I can sit here at home for 40 minutes without my legs failing me but my elaborate cushion setup cannot be duplicated in the zendo with the cushions on hand there. I've ordered some different batting for my fancy cushion because it works well with a fairly thin pillow on top of it so I think it just needed a little softening but until I can get the soft inside the cushion I have to have extra cushions under my legs because the pillow lifts me up in the air slightly and I can't take my cushion and the three pillows with me. especially since two of them are loud orange and green Lion King pillows that C bought some time ago from some pillow vendor on Mission Street. loud is the one thing you cannot be at the zen center.
well she will be home tomorrow night so I could probably go all day tomorrow without talking to anyone but myself and the cats. there isn't really anyone in the city that I can call up and say hey how about a beer tonight because in san francisco you have to Make Plans. people are always booked up weeks in advance either with other friend dates or with yoga or therapy or even studying and no one deviates from schedule at a moment's notice. it's not like seattle where with a few well-placed cellphone calls you can organize a twenty-person pub crawl beginning fifteen minutes from now.
but I should go to bed anyway so maybe it's just as well.
