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addictions

man the difference is palpable. this morning I got caught up in a chat with lisagail and did not get to the pharmacy quite as early as usual and was feeling kind of funky by the time I got there. on the way back I was just like fuck this and fuck life and I'm fucking depressed and don't want to do a damned thing today and fuck everything and now an hour later with bupe and coffee onboard I'm all wheeeee let's do an art project or write or read or go shopping!

I think my shot was slow coming on this week too. I took it monday night but was still exhausted yesterday. must have hit a layer of slowly absorbing flesh of some kind.

but so art today until time for paid work this afternoon and then tomorrow grade a bunch of papers and do more of the other paid work that I've gotten a little behind on because I obsess with teaching when I do it for one and I have a hard time doing more than one thing per day for two. I am totally on the wrong planet or at least in the wrong economic sphere. I need a system where I can work really intensely for three hours a day and play the rest of the time. more work than that and I wear out quickly.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
expanding_x_man
Nov. 10th, 2005 09:45 pm (UTC)
Yea, it's hard to work on the book more than three or four hours at a time, although sometimes I do five or six. I keep taking small breaks and that seems to help. Then, I will hit a point where I can't go any farther- and I can't stand to look at it one more second!

I enjoy it in a way, and I'm happy with the progress, but yea, I've read this thing eighty million times already, aside from writing it. I have to be "strict" though, and - particularly with the edits that the editor is doing - not let her get "away" with something I don't, ultimately want. Not that she is trying to get away with anything, but I nearly have to have that attitude. She is good though, and many of her changes are helpful. thank god -
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