Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

  • Mood:

a little off the top

freshly balded. this time I used the clippers at the shortest setting and there are still little 1/32" hairs sticking out but that's fine. if I shaved down to the skin I'd have to worry about ingrown hairs. as is I did manage to slice a little out of the top of one ear. nothing noticeable but I suddenly feel a kinship with van gogh that goes beyond the red beard.

I guess this means it is bedtime. I want to stay up and play but then the other part of me, most noticeably the eyelid part, wants to go to sleep and wake up early and start being virtuous. not that today wasn't virtuous but I didn't do anything that the world is tapping its foot at me for but rather other things that I want to do probably in part precisely because the world is not tapping its foot at me. I don't understand social expectations. why do we submit to them? why are they important? why is it if I don't get this degree I will probably sink into a dismal depression for gods only know how long?

I don't know. I do know that I've gotten myself caught up in having people expect things from me and my therapist thinks that's a good thing. I'm still not so sure myself. I'm not very good in situations where people are waiting for me to do something. knowing exactly why that is does not particularly help.

  • chapter one is finished!

    The end of chapter one of UndiaGnosed is near. So near you could click and be right there. This entry was composed @Dreamwidth. Feel free to…

  • That took a long time

    So it took a little longer than I meant for it to but here is another section of the autobiography that will never end:…

  • Why the sky is blue is a political question.

    Why it is important to examine our own ideas before we can change the world around us. This entry was composed @Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.