thanksgiving has not been a holiday since I became a student. the worst thanksgiving weekend ever was the one I spent writing a seminar paper first thing each morning with lots of coffee before the voices got really bad which they did every afternoon. it would be another two weeks before I asked for medication and we are all lucky I survived. it was the last paper I wrote for a few years because after that I lost my ability to make connections between things read and things read or at least connection enough to write about.
but that was then. this is now and I can't seem to shut up but I'm still scared because today I have to describe that chapter that I finally understood for the first time last week. I can't imagine what might happen that scares me but I suppose I could reopen the book and have it look once again like gibberish. that's not going to happen though because I drew a diagram. I'd show it to you but I don't have a .jpg of it and besides it's not very interesting if you haven't read the chapter.
coffee and meditation through which I will not sleep if I am good and lucky and have had enough of the aforementioned coffee. although I must say I tried that Rockstar Energy Drink yesterday and besides tasting like flowers and bubblegum it actually was quite smooth in the energy department. no palpitations or anything. I might get more of it. I imagine the sucrose has a lot to do with the boost but it also has caffeine and guarana and taurine and a few other things. milk thistle. I thought that was a liver herb.