I feel kind of stupid. sometimes on sundays I am too nervous to be able to settle down enough to prepare for monday's class so I take a klonopin and I did that today and I still felt nervous after a couple of hours so I took another half of one and it totally knocked me out. I slept in my chair for two hours.

well I guess I know my dose and that I just have to deal with the leftover nerves when there are any.

fortunately most of the lecture was written and I did have time to do all the reading and I am still tired so I'm going to bed now and getting up really early to make sure everything is in shape. I obsess too much I know but I don't know how else to operate. I suppose I should trust myself when I know I have enough material and then force myself to stop working. there's only been one time this semester that I wish I'd been better prepared and that was before the klonopin experiment started and I spent all weekend nervously prostrate and was unable to prepare much.

the rest of the time I've been overprepared every single week.

happy medium.
paging happy medium.