today is a real day off in the sense that it is pre-established, no-guilt, no worrying over whether I should be taking it, time off. although there are still a million things to be done I insist on at least one real day off every week. otherwise I'll take that time in more surreptitious and less efficient ways, like fartzing around till noon before starting work, or grading two papers and deciding I can't take any more.

my neck hurts and I'm trying to figure out if it's from falling over backwards in my chair last night. I was watching a dvd (the first of Shoah--real uplifting stuff) with my feet up on my desk and I guess I leaned a bit further than the chair itself reclines and suddenly over I went flat on my back. I did not bang my head on the floor but my back slammed solidly into it and when I hit I thought ok that's going to hurt but it didn't really until just now.

either that or I have meningitis. no I don't have any other symptoms so no that's probably not it but the hypocondriac of doom that I harbor deep within likes to get its worries aired.

ow. I think ibuprofen might be indicated. possibly not sitting at the computer all day. !!

I don't know what I want to do today. I feel a little depressed for reasons I'm not sure of but I think if I spent the day drawing I might cheer up. the one nice thing is that it is finally chilly and rainy out like it is supposed to be this time of year so the weather no longer has me pissed off. I'd like to go shopping of course but I need not to spend money and there isn't really anything I am in dire need of so I should wear the clothes and play with the toys that I've already bought. I could go to old navy and get a new pair of brown corduroys as last year's have begun to rip and I suspect they make them on purpose to last just about a year. no one else sells brown corduroys for a reasonable price although for the price of two old navy pair I could have gotten a pair that lasted five years so maybe I should raise my standards.

I might be depressed partially because my therapist pushed our time till thursday when it had been scheduled for today. I hate being a person who gets depressed when he can't see his therapist on schedule but that thing I wrote that I've unfiltered as I feel slightly less embarrassed about it now has something to do with why not seeing certain people on time can bum me out.

also he likes to go shopping for toys. I've got a lego locomotive I haven't put together yet. perhaps I should do that.