it suddenly occurs to me that my relatively recently acquired ability to fall fast asleep sitting upright in a chair is a sign. of old age. how many young people do you know who will be watching tv or reading one moment, and the next be soundly sleeping without having moved a muscle to make themselves more comfortable. I never used to be able to do this and I never understood how grandma could fall asleep in the middle of a livingroom conversation but now I am beginning to get an idea of just how insistent sleep can be.

yeah I was sleeping in my chair again. fortunately sandy came home and I woke up to the sound of her key in the door, got up and came in here and will begin preparations for bed momentarily. chair sleep, although necessary, is not as restful as bed sleep and cannot be counted for part of a night's worth or at least you have to discount the total number of hours.

I'm also beginning to wonder if I'm on some reverse cycle with the T where I "peak" by falling asleep all the damned time. well it could be worse I suppose. right now sleeping sounds quite appealing since I can't seem to get ahold of a good way to manage the stress of waiting for a verdict on my writing and thus have been in a lousy mood for days and when that happens sleep is the best medicine not because I feel any better upon awakening but because during the time I am asleep I don't feel bad anymore.

there were times I'd sleep pretty much all day for that reason. suicide or nap? nap is almost always the better choice. kurt cobain should have just taken a nap.