Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

  • Mood:

sleep day

I've been sitting in this chair now for 8 hours--well I did get up to pee a couple of times and once to fix a bowl of cereal but I came in here to sit and read about php and unix and before you know it I was nodding off. first I tried some coffee but it was the sort of sleepy that only gets worse with caffeine so finally I put the book down and closed my laptop and my eyes.

four hours later I wake up as sandy comes home and then I get some reading done but now I am sitting here compulsively reloading my friends page waiting for some sort of sign to tell me that it is time to go to bed for real. tomorrow is my day off so I don't have to get up early but still I set my alarm to avoid morning panic dreams. I haven't found a way to stop them yet although since they are lucid I can sometimes calm myself through them but that doesn't always work so it is best just to get up before they start.

but so I have little to say.

lisagail emailed me this morning to say things are going ok. I think with family there and things needing to be done she's in crisis dealing mode which is always good for taking care of business. I hope that gets her through for as long as need be.

I still have lots of questions about what happened and how but those can wait.

I see that I have a little less than two weeks before teaching starts up again and I begin to panic. time goes way the hell too quickly these days and I don't know how I'm supposed to get anything done. I mean I've been saying this for years and although time did go by pretty quickly in my 30s it just gets worse and worse. if you are already bemoaning this phenomenon I have very bad news for you. well. those of you who have not yet reached my advanced age. I'm not sure I want to know how it is for those on the other side.

as others have noted, life is backwards. things should get easier and less complicated and time should slow down as we age. it is completely unfair the way we are repaid for years of muddling our way through: more years of more involved muddling! you'd think we'd have set up society to rain benefits and riches upon anyone who makes it past, say, 55. but no. the older you get the more society ignores you.

people suck.

with that thought I will end my day.

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