Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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day one

so it's "11" and I am just about ready to get dressed and do some work. I am officially an hour behind. setting my clock for "7:30" did get me out of bed by "8:30," but on a work day I'm supposed to be up at "7."

oh well. I would love to take another day off but can't come up with anything to justify it. I could promise myself to work friday but you know that sort of thing is very difficult to enforce when the day itself arrives.

so this is all I have to do:

get dressed
open dissertation file
type in at least one new sentence
close dissertation file
goof off

that's not so bad really but opening that file is one of the most difficult things I do and I do it on an almost daily basis. all the therapy in the world (because I've pretty much had all the therapy in the world) can't seem to make it any easier.

I have been wearing the same pair of pants for several days now. I mean I take them off to sleep but I keep putting them back on in the morning and with the store of clothes I've put together for myself you'd think I could work a little more variety into my daily sartorial routine but no for the past week it's been the buffalo jeans and the red tshirt with black silk undershirt.

I think I'm going to put on something different today just to make it a little more official that I am dressed to work and not to sit around wasting time kind of like I am right now only I still have my pajamas on so that means I'm still "waking up."

the day after daylight savings starts may well be my least favorite sunday of the year.

it used to be easter because on easter everyone in the county came to church and I had to wear some new dress that admittedly I would have picked out the pattern for--my mom sewed almost every dress I ever wore--and thus would have approved of but still it was a new dress and not worth the hoopla. we got to hunt easter eggs as kids but right after we were finished with that we had to get dressed and go to church.

I realize now that church only lasted an hour and forty-five minutes (including sunday school) but back then it seemed like all day and then as I got older and my mother grew more fanatical we started having to go every sunday night too. they had something like sunday school at night so that was another two hours gone. what the hell did they call the nighttime school--something training. I've completely forgotten. wednesdays there was a prayer meeting and during my born again time I went to those too.

yeah I could think of a few more things to put off opening that file but I think my time has come. the klonopin is beginning to take the edge off of the "it could kill you" feeling.

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