Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

  • Mood:

not have

I'm trying not to approach graduation from a complete 'poor me' angle but I'm having some difficulty remembering that commencement is just a silly ceremony you go through so that your friends can officially congratulate you. in fact my bachelor's ceremony was a complete anticlimax precisely because I spent it with my parents, who really hadn't done a whole lot to help me out but were the default choice for whom to invite.

this one might be parent-free, but catherine is coming, lisagail is coming, hugo/ute is coming, and I don't know yet about a few other people. this one should be much more fun.

so why am I bummed out that I can barely afford all the trappings? I bought unpersonalized announcements that I can print out my own cards with my name and fancy title for, which saved a little, but I remember when I started here I looked forward to the day I could get that beautiful blue doctor's gown and there simply is no way I can afford one, so we'll be renting the black one. I could buy a hood and/or the tam (the funny hat doctoral grads get to wear) but they each cost about $130. I can rent a hood, but unless I buy a tam I have to wear the plain old mortarboard that all the undergrads wear.

so I'm going to see if I can buy a tam after next payday, but I don't know if they are specially made or if they simply have them in stock, so I'm hoping I'm not too late.

I guess I feel like most people have help with this stuff, although I don't know the extent to which that is really true. I do know the younger you are and the more money your family makes the more likely you are to get the blue gown.

but we're all getting the same degree. I realize that life is unfair but it this is just one of those little annoying things that remind me of what I do not have and of the sizable class differences in higher education. I'm not working class exactly--unless "clerk class" is part of that--but this just puts the cap on a number of little shoves that you get used to in academia if you aren't born to the elite. that and mom are pissing me off.

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