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repast report

dinner was very good. I had a kind of miniature eggplant parmesan for an appetizer and then some spinach-filled cannelloni with about a million kinds of cheese all melted around it and then for desert the three of us split a chocolate mousse and a panna cotta.

baked cream with berry sauce. oh god continental desserts just rock. baked cream! eating it is like skimming the top off a freshly squeezed pail of milk! not that I've ever done that that I can remember. my mom grew up on a farm but I did not.

mmmmm. cream.

so that put me in a better mood. afterwards we had coffee in a trendy coffee shop filled with young hipsters just starting their friday nights as we were finishing ours. sometimes it seems that the only thing I miss about being young is being able to do all those drugs. I saw some baby butch dyke all dressed up and packing, obviously on a date, and I saw tall angst-ridden young men, artistes of one stripe or another, with their carefully arranged chaotic hair and I wondered what kind of gigs they were trying to get and whether they were being successful.

oh the other thing I miss is immortality. that feeling that you've got forever. I mean time is still on my side to an extent, or to the extent that anyone can assume a "natural" lifespan not cut short, but I do realize that I have a finite amount of it left. I can't say I've begun to imagine death yet but I can see that there is an End coming up and after that I won't be able to go back and fix anything. not that I can go back and fix anything now but it is occurring lately to me that I need to start getting it right. I'm not sure I've begun to yet. for a minute it looked like it and then no.

yeah so we had coffee.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 15th, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
Yea, with friends dropping (dead) -- these past two years, and me getting closer to fifty - I must say, I also have these feelings about mortality.

Possibly, it is helpful, if not -- cheerful. It does help to focus oneself; it makes one more "realistic" even in one"s most fantastic dreaming.
Apr. 15th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
yes I do find that, since I've realized I do not have forever, I have more drive to get the things done that I want to get done. it is also helpful to have life's choices narrowed down somewhat by time. when I was 20 there were so many things I wanted to do and be that I was practically frozen in indecision.

at least now I have a good idea of what I want to do. not always certain how to do it, but my options have slimmed considerably.
Apr. 15th, 2006 08:44 am (UTC)
>I can see that there is an End coming up and after that I won't be able to go back and fix anything

oh yes. i've had that feeling for a while. there are things already i can't fix. accepting that is very hard.

panna cotta is soooo good. i used to get it at macaroni grill. it came with a heavy, gooey, caramelly type sauce instead of fruit. it was like an orgasm on a spoon.
Apr. 15th, 2006 03:23 pm (UTC)
yes there are choices I've made when I was younger that are coming home to roost now but I have to say I still don't regret anything. all I regret is that this world rendered my own personal exigencies somewhat beyond the pall.

I mean I'm not even sure that's the case, but it's the feeling I've gotten since I was quite young.

whose idea was it to bake cream until it got just solid enough to set up on a plate? excellent idea.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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