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oh the other thing I wanted to point out was that I weighed 185 pounds on their scale. that's ten pounds more than last time.

you've seen the pictures. do I look badly overweight? I don't quite understand what is going on as I have stopped drinking and on average eat one burrito and two bowls of cereal a day and I walk at least a mile every day and probably more like two on average. five to six when I'm 'exercising.' and I don't think I look any different from last year.

I do drink whole milk now instead of skim. and the swollen ankles could be indicative of a more widespread fluid retention I suppose. maybe I'll not panic until after we get that taken care of, possibly with diuretics if my doc can't find any particular reason for the edema.

that'll be fun. peeing all day.

also I think I am getting denser. I'm not doing a thing to develop musculature but in the past 18 months I'd say I've gained definition and mass spontaneously.

well whatever. as long as I'm healthy and can stand to look in a mirror I guess things are ok.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 21st, 2006 07:25 pm (UTC)
no, you don't look badly overweight in the photos! how tall are you? 185 isn't a terrible weight, if you're in the 5' 7" range (as i am).
Jun. 23rd, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
well I'm 5'8" with a 'small frame' but testosterone doesn't pay any attention to your frame when it fills you out.

see I spent 35 years as an almost 5'9" 120-lb thin as a rail woman. until a few years ago I never had experienced a belly that rolls over the top of your waistband. gaining 60 pounds is not that surprising, I suppose, but it just makes me goggle at the difference between male and female bodies. I'm just so much denser than I used to be, and I can feel the mass as an increase in personal gravity almost.

once upon a time you could knock me over with a feather. not anymore.
Jun. 23rd, 2006 11:09 am (UTC)
yes, i remember from your pictures that you were very lean. (that's something i've never been without lots of dieting and hard work.) it's true about the density thing -- at approximately the same weights and heights (before he started losing weight this year), gerry was sort of thick, while i'm full of that fluffy female fat. damn it. *g* i have my grandfather's build, though, and if i were a guy, i'd still be carrying weight in my belly, a natural endomorph.

an increase in personal gravity. that sounds good!

if i still had my old brando icon, i'd use it. it was sad how huge he got, and he hated it.
Jun. 23rd, 2006 11:10 am (UTC)
p.s. i'd use the brando icon because i identify with it myself. i wanna make that one thing perfectly clear.
Jun. 21st, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
We could both stand to lose some weight, I am hovering from 170-175, and for ME (not you necessarily) - that is too much. I don't know what is your personal too much, but we could both use to lose a bit, and tone some. I don't know if that's what you want to hear, but I really think that so---

You look better than I would at 185. My cheeks stand out then like little round puffballs. The cover of my book, where I look fantastic everyone says, is around 150 lb. We are about the same height - between 5'8" and 5'9" (I'm 5'8 1/2" officially in stocking feet) so we could both lose a bit.

I have been going to the gym. That helps.

I bet you are getting some definition and muscle just from being on T this long. I did as well, over a span of years- I mean, seven to twelve years. Really. It takes awhile.

Maybe you need more protein and less carbs (cereal). I don't know, sounds like you are not overeating (to say the least)... It does get harder to lose weight as one gets older, maybe more aerobics and a bit of weight-lifting. I guess you could try different things and changes in diet and see what happens.

Really, you don't look bad. You look good, but - like me, I am sure --- you could look better. The main thing is how you feel. Few people are as vain as me, and frankly - they are lucky.

Jun. 23rd, 2006 04:29 am (UTC)
heh. well I feel pretty good, but the numbers seem overwhelming to someone who flirted with anorexia when she was in her early twenties.

I would like to lose some, or rather redistribute some of the fat weight into muscle weight. I need to find out what is wrong with my elbow so that I can figure out a way to lift without injuring it further. I guess I need to get off my ass and go get it x-rayed already but spending a day at sfgh is not my preferred method of relaxation or toil, you know?
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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