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regularly scheduled programming

at my house, things went predictably this afternoon as I put my feet up to read stein and santiago came and slept on my legs and I did fall asleep but I managed to read about 20 pages first. given that it is a 1000-page book that is not very impressive and what sucks the most (or least) is that I'm really enjoying it and getting a better handle on it as a whole work this time through but I'd sure like to be able to read 100 pages a day. at first I was. I'm going to have to skip a whole bunch of it if I can't figure out a way to do that really really soon and I'd rather not skip because oddly every page seems important even though she says basically the same thing over and over.

tomorrow I'm going to skip my morning klonopin and see how much of it I can read. if I start flipping out I'll take half a one.

of course I was in my bedroom in the whiplash chair which made hitting full unconsciousness somewhat painful although I managed to tuck my chin down a couple of times. I don't know how many times I fell asleep and woke up again. you know how time enlarges when you are doing this sort of thing. I'm awake now and could try reading for another hour I suppose but I go to bed in like two hours and I do like to have some time in the evening to myself. in fact there are a couple other books I'm thinking of picking up. they're some I've already started so I wouldn't be adding to the deficit.

I also have new south park dvd's to watch but there's a whole political problem there in that if I don't use the living room dvd player I'll feel like I'm being unsociable and selfish but the living room dvd player is a little piece of annoying crap that goes to blue screen at dark scenes and alternates bright and dark color randomly. not that south park is particularly atmospheric. it is true that I don't usually experience the blue screen with animation. the bright-dark alternation is not as jarring as the blue screen. I tried to watch brokeback mountain out there but within five minutes it became clear that it was only going to show me about half the picture. I wonder if it's a parental control feature? should look on the back for hidden switches.

I could also try going to bed at an absurdly early time and see if I fare better tomorrow. I feel like a sleep addict--the more I do it, the more I want to do. soon I will be sleeping 23 hours a day. I think I'd need about an hour a day to eat and to take medications for instance and pee.

on the other hand if i were to go to bed at 8, I'd start waking up at 3, and then 4, and then 5, and then I'd drop into deep sleep just before my alarm went off at 6 and that would set the tone of the day: groggy and sleepy and unable to focus. there are things about my neurophysiology that I sort of like. this is not one of them. why they saw fit to put a marked anxiety disorder into a sleep-loving soul I do not know but it was not a good idea. the only drug that really really worked was speed. maybe I should be asking for amphetamine. it took away social anxiety and depression gave me the happy satisfied energy of a normal person. opiates do that too, but only for a period before they conk you out. although it is true that I can stay up all night on them before that happens.

mmm. self-medication.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 30th, 2006 02:57 am (UTC)
Have you tried reading aloud?
I mean, talking is a good way to stay awake on long drives and if you have to do something scholastic with this stuff, it can't but help to run the info through two brain systems. Since you're only getting about 20 pages a day anyway, the slower pace shouldn't hurt your progress any.

If you want to get really scholastic, you can record yourself and then iPod it whilst doing house chores.
Jul. 30th, 2006 03:33 am (UTC)
Re: Have you tried reading aloud?
that's not at all a bad idea, especially since sandy works during the week and I have the house to myself much of the time. I mean I could huddle around a microphone and mumble into it to avoid embarrassment but I bet it wouldn't keep me awake. "rereading" on the ipod on BART rides is not a bad idea either.

I wonder how well my laptop microphone picks up if I sit right next to it rather than lean over it. the latter could get uncomfortable.
Jul. 30th, 2006 03:54 am (UTC)
Re: Have you tried reading aloud?
Or if you can scrounge up $20-30 you can get a headset from Radioshack. I think Max has one as well.
Jul. 30th, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)
Re: Have you tried reading aloud?
another great idea!

I hope you get paid for having these somewhere.
Jul. 31st, 2006 01:11 am (UTC)
Re: Have you tried reading aloud?
I do when I have them for work.
Jul. 30th, 2006 12:30 pm (UTC)
when i nap upright in a chair, there's that bobblehead action that does hurt the neck. do you have one of those cheap little cervical pillows that bed, bath etc. sells? i got one for me and then one for gerry at about $8 each. they really keep you from that painful jerking in your sleep.

omg, i am such an old pervert. that last sentence set off alarms in my head. it comes from reading too much slash. :D
Jul. 30th, 2006 04:20 pm (UTC)
haha! I'm not even going to say any more to add to the gutter-mindedness.

I actually have an inflatable pillow that you wear like a collar. used to use it on the train when I went coach to keep from drooling on my seatmate at night. the only thing is that I'd feel like putting it on was granting myself permission to sleep. although maybe that'd have a kind of reverse-psychology effect.

Jul. 30th, 2006 05:19 pm (UTC)
your reply came to my inbox with the porn kitty photo, cracking me up like mad. but it's not here. guess the kitty is sneaky-pie. :D
Jul. 30th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC)
let's try again. not sure what happened there.
Jul. 30th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC)
yay! that is the funniest picture. *g*
Jul. 30th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
I stole it from someone on baaaaabyanimals. I'm an incorrigible icon stealer. I never credit.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


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