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the glass guys never showed up. it turned out to be no big deal as I was busy working here all day and did not get to the point where I needed to be in berkeley yet. monday for that. but it was a little stressful waiting till past the time when I felt obligated to still answer the phone. I figured if someone called asking for me in a firm, hostile tone I'd just hang up. they'd call again a couple of times I suppose but I can outwait anyone.

by 11am I decided I didn't have to answer the phone anymore and I just kept an eye out the front window every time it rang to see if there were workmen hanging out at the gate. a couple of times I went out there to look but no sign.

I got a lot of work done.

it's interesting isn't it when your therapist is right. she suggested I take a couple of jobs that could be finished up in a day or two from my pile labeled 'overwhelming' and just finish them and I'd feel better.

I feel better.

I still haven't finished my dissertation and I still have two syllabi to put together but those are scheduled for different days. the syllabi. not the dissertation. it has to sit for a bit while I catch up and prove to myself that I can put in a day's work without dozing off.

today for instance I worked on a section of the pedagogy website as had been suggested by my 'boss' and I managed to sit in one place and code for 8 hours straight without hardly even a yawn. that is there may have been a yawn or two but I don't remember them and they didn't come with an 'uh-oh' attached.

so yeah it can be done. but I'm still unsure what my calling is.

I should go to bed so that I can perform similar feats tomorrow starting bright and early. that and because I'm kind of sleepy.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
daisydumont
Aug. 5th, 2006 11:57 am (UTC)
i'm glad you did that! lately i've been springing little jobs on myself that i'd been putting off. usually i do best if i suddenly say, "i'll clean up that pile of crap on the floor" and just do it. thinking about doing it later means it won't ever get done. guess we have to know our own M.O.
eriktrips
Aug. 5th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
yeah I was being all monomaniacal about my dissertation while all these little things piled up and I kept thinking 'I'll get a good chunk written and then I'll get to all these little things' but I never felt like I was at a good stopping place.

my therapist said just do it and watch your anxiety plummet. I'm like 'you think so?'
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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