on the other hand I have a week when I get back. I need also to go fill out HR paperwork at both schools but gods I don't want to do that today. it's going to be hot in my neighborhood and although neither school is in my neighborhood waiting for the bus will still involve to much time in the sun for me. there is fog, but it retreated quickly this morning. I'd have to look at a satellite photo to see where it is now. I can't see any at all from here.
I could perhaps work only half the day. I've been working full days lately. like 8 - 10 hours. I kid you not. and I'm not suicidal as a result which causes me to believe that there are only certain aspects of full time work that drive me into deep depression.
therapy was this morning at 9. I meant to tell her I would miss her while I was out of town but found it difficult to spit out so I didn't. yeah. I'm that squirrelly.
I should look at my list of things to do before leaving town. I am afraid I am forgetting something really important. but I'm also afraid to look at it to see how much more is left to do which will throw me into a deep funk.
yesterday I bought a bag of crackerjack (it doesn't come in boxes anymore??) and so far I've found like two peanuts in it. I've eaten about 4/5 of the bag. they are all waiting at the bottom. I can see them, but when I pour, only popcorn comes out.
this is how I start my workday. what other meaningless things can I tell you about? santiago has become a wake n bake kitty as he demands catnip immediately upon arising in the morning. I try to make him wait until at least 10am. I'm projecting, aren't I? I would like to know how catnip feels to them. I'm pretty sure he's smart enough to associate the catnip with the immediately following effects. I'm not so sure jackson is up to that level of abstract reasoning. I always give him a little as well and he's like why are you pushing this stuff on me all of a sudden. half the time he doesn't eat it or sniff it even. but I'm just trying to be fair. a really nice thing about catnip is the obligatory nap that follows. gives me time to get some work done before he starts knocking things off my shelves to communicate his demand that I chase him around.
which brings me to something I've always wondered: during kindergarten, how many of you actually fell asleep during naptime? I never did. I would try, but mostly lying there was the most boring thing I could imagine having to do. I'd count the holes in the ceiling tile and shit like that until told that I had to have my eyes closed. thank you, I would think, for making this time even more boring.
today I'd fall asleep. I need more coffee.