Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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nap, interrupted

so I napped for a little while then woke up with a kind of gi ache that doesn't seem to lend itself to any bathroom remedies so I will take a little extra of the two things I might be physically addicted to: bupe and klonopin. I say 'might' for the second as my np thinks my dose is too low for 'dependency' (and I think I'm beginning to see through that word to what makes it so noxious to American ears) but I have felt a little funky if I get too low a dose in me towards evening so I'm not so sure. I don't care, because it makes it possible to get along in the world to a degree unheard of before, so I'm just as happy to take it for a good long while as long as I can afford it.

thus I don't know if my nap is over. will see what happens to the eyelids after the bupe and klonopin get themselves onboard. I can predict, but what would happen if I added coffee to the deal?

which reminds me: has anyone tried coca-cola 'blak'? or are we a test market? just how satisfying is carbonated 'coffee cola'? it would combine two of my favorite beverage features into one package. they sell it unrefrigerated at usf--I can't imagine that is particularly tasty. lukewarm coffee, coca-cola? no it just doesn't sound inviting. I could get some and put it in the faculty refrigerator I suppose.

I just looked on their website and can find very little information about it. it is available in France and the US, but it doesn't show up on their 'US Brand' pages--only the international list, which says not much. I imagine I'll try it at some point, although if we are a test market I'd better try it soon.

but while on the coca-cola site, I became aware that they own odwalla or are partnered with them in some way. I'm crushed. guess it's back to Columbia Gorge drinks. well their raspberry peach shake is pretty unbeatable.

hm. I think I have cramps. this has happened a few times since starting T. just the uterus saying 'hi! still here!' gotta have that thing out. I think I should talk to my doctor about a pelvic exam while heavily sedated and muscle-relaxed. I wonder if she'd agree to doing it that way. it's about the only way anyone's gonna get a speculum in me. I mean that quite literally. anything bigger than a single slim finger causes both pain and flashbacks. sorry if that is tmi, but it's the facts. I've tried lube; doesn't help either problem.

anyway. for now, ibuprofen. how I ever got along without that stuff is beyond me. I think it became an otc drug sometime in my early 20s. until then all we had was tylenol. almost completely ineffective for anything: cramps, headaches, muscle aches. I don't even know why they sell it by itself: I think it primarily boosts the effects of opiates when mixed with them.

well I am feeling kind of sleepy now but I only had given myself 45 more minutes in which to sleep. I could reset the alarm for 7; I have a car at 7:30.

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