anyway these pack about 400 calories into a dish of pasta. it's still not enough. I will have a bowl of cereal presently.
I know I don't eat the 'correct' way for a human. I know we are supposed to 'graze' all day but I never remember to stop and graze for one and for two the big fill 'er up dinner is part of my reward mechanism for surviving till sundown (ok, 4:30 when I actually have the choice to eat earlier). this is part of my upbringing: the big meal of the day was dinner and it was very comforting to have mom fill you up with hamburger and pasta and cheese in varying configurations. nowadays I just leave out the hamburger, which seriously was my staple food in my early childhood which I think could be greatly disturbing. but it was the 60s. only a small proportion of the population of California were eating any differently.
these days some vegan sites tell me I eat too much grain. you can't win, you know. I crave grain and dairy like they were drugs and I'm sure there's someone out there perfectly willing to tell me they are. I have taken to fruit leather recently but note that the only nutrient it seems to provide in any quantity is potassium, according to the Nutrition Facts, but I suppose one must read that label rhetorically as well and consider what is being left out of the facts explaining why dehydrated whole fruit might be good for you. I dunno. verdicts on fruit leather? they all seem to be made of varying proportions of this and that purée. I assume they purée the whole fruit; it would be labor intensive to peel all the little globules of a raspberry to get at the sugary meat, wouldn't it?
I've also been eating lärabars which, despite the tic for umlaut typography, are quite tasty and promise you raw nuts and fruit and nothing else. I probably love them because what holds them together are mushed up dates, which I love like nothing else. it's true I can't eat a whole date because they look like those huge southern cockroaches, but smash it up beyond recognition and I'm all over it.
it was a long day. I'm glad it's over. I have to wind down and get to bed so I can get up early and work on the dissertation for the first time since november. while repairing my harddrive I noted the last time I had saved the file was 11/24/06. I could have sworn I opened it one day in december and wrote a bit, but I guess that was november.
my desk calendar reads august 2006. I have a new one somewhere but I just cannot keep up with time anymore. fortunately ical keeps me informed of just how quickly time is passing. I think this is why we have to be mortal creatures. if we didn't die, we'd soon reach the point where eternity itself happened in an instant and that would be that. I know that's a self-contradictory statement but I bet there's a way of thinking about it that actually makes sense.
this is what happens to me when you send me out of the house for 12 hours at a time. I come back and talk about everything in the universe because I'm too tired to focus on any small part of it.