so cormac mccarthy was interviewed by oprah moments ago and although he didn't break my heart and he does seem like a congenial soul and I suppose that oprah asked the sorts of questions that maybe millions of readers of the road wanted to know like what is the book truly about and at least mccarthy did not give us an authoritative answer but allowed as there might be many interpretations of a given piece of writing and so to him it was a simple story but what it is about is still an open question despite oprah's attempts to close it I can't help but wish someone at least a little more--not critical perspective, at least not the hardball kind--but a little more of a reader which is odd because you'd think oprah would be quite the reader with her book club and everything but maybe those that can't do teach but if someone with a little more sense of the actual language and rhythm of mccarthy's corpus had been asking the questions.

but then I suppose that many would have scratched their heads and turned off their television sets.

although it is heartening to know that here is a man who worked his whole life not to have to work and succeeded! except insofar as writing is his work but then one wonders what one means by work exactly if what you are doing is what you are supposed to be doing and if anyone is supposed to be writing it would be him but is it then work or play even though playing too is sometimes difficult. but the question I've always wanted to know the answer to was whether mccarthy likes judge holden.

it is good to know that one can get by without working. I have new inspiration although honestly I could not live a life in hotel rooms or on the street. call me a sissy but there is so much in my head that is like a giant sieve of chance occurrences and I walk gingerly on the wires so as not to fall through that my outer life can't take on the same character. yeah I do live with a certain amount of uncertainty as a man alone and a paycheck away from destitution but I have resources that I will employ to keep the paychecks coming only one day I want them coming from the same place mccarthy's are coming from. I have that ambition which wars daily with the urge to stay in my room with the door shut. I do not know in the end which will win. well I'll be dead so there will be no winning but before that. provisionally speaking.

I am happy to know that he wants us to appreciate life. see I don't see how he could say that and have liked a man who threw a litter of puppies into the river even if he wrote him dancing like an angel on the head of a pin. the dance of reason is so often the dance of death. but I don't know if that is what he meant. why it should matter to me is not clear given that I can interpret judge holden however I want but when I have friends who celebrate him as a postmodern antihero I can't contain myself because it is neither nihilism nor resignation that will set you free. I just didn't want to see mccarthy all dressed in black I suppose.

he wasn't.