i am reading Irigaray and every other sentence spurs me to pontificate to myself as though i were in a room with my examiners. fortunately i am alone in the house.
but this is making it difficult actually to read the stuff i really need to read to be able to write my writtens in two weeks. sometimes i wish we had no writtens but only orals like the english department which is really a strange thing for me to say as i have always done better with the written word than the spoken but i feel like i could talk and talk and talk about all this without much problem. it is the organizing it all into one coherent argument that i am stressing about.
meanwhile i just keep talking. i guess there is some value in that but i don't have to talk to these people until july.
i can't believe these things aren't over yet. i've been panicking for weeks and dammit if i don't wake up every morning to find that the dreaded day still has not arrived. c says the dreaded day never will arrive but instead i will find myself writing or speaking on the given day and it won't be nearly so awful as the anticipation itself. well i'd really like to find out if that is true already.
talk. talk. talk.