Erik (eriktrips) wrote,
Erik
eriktrips

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i never say what i am thinking

we all imagine i imagine that no one else could imagine what goes on in our heads. i mean it seems that what occurs to me is so idiosyncratic that there is simply no way that it could have occured to anyone else and certainly not in the way it occured to me and certainly not with the force that it occurs to me.

this might have something to do with my mother looking at me like i had three heads on the odd occasion i actually spoke what was on my mind. probably there are a hundred million of you who have been odd in the way i am odd but still here it is very lonely.

i don't know what it means to be alone with your thoughts and in fact i don't know what it means to be one who can have thoughts in the sense that one owns them rather than the other way around. yet at the same time i suffer in my own peculiar way just like anyone else who suffers.

i am not sure though what it is to be any particular one.
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