today I feel like a battered man. for no particular reason except for all of them. I've been doing some excavating at the same time as trying to live and it is a delicate balance but not one I'm willing to give up. excavating that is in a way I haven't really done before and it's a little disorienting on the one hand but on the other it is a good thing but on the other other the more I look at what my life was the more astounded I become that I've survived it (so far) at all.
anyway. I'm kind of awake and not really full of energy exactly and I'm wondering if I should give in and nap. I'm trying not to become attached to any given pattern, you know, of sleeping, and just letting myself sleep when I feel the need. so perhaps I should go to bed. thing is I was just getting to where I had some daylight waking hours. it seems whenever I get that far my body has to reset to nighttime. maybe I truly am a vampire.
well I need to be up in like four hours anyway. I probably won't sleep that long. I guess I'll give in and give a nap a whirl.