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I'd like to say I was sleep walking just for the sheer novelty of it but no I've been sitting in my chair sound asleep and in fact even dreamed that I was sitting somewhere with my chin jammed down into my chest only to wake up to find myself staring at the shirt I have on.

fifteen and a half hours of sleep so far today. or that is, fifteen and a half hours of sleep today--if I fall asleep again anytime soon, I'm going to add that to tomorrow's sleep since 6pm will have passed and it will be "night." either I'm coming down with something (narcolepsy?) or I'm more depressed or anxious than even I realize or my shot really did poop out quickly this time around. I took my shot this morning after nine days. I should know something in about 24 hours.

ugh. I have things to do. this is no way to get them done.

I wish my body would decide what it is going to do with the testosterone and stick with it. I had shortened my cycle but was experiencing paradoxical drowsiness when I should have been peaking, so I lengthened it by two days and felt better but three cycles into it, this. I guess I should go back to the simple ten day plan. I don't recall now why I changed it. I think I shortened it because I wanted to avoid the inevitable one-day crash before my next shot. maybe I should alternate 9-10 days. what a pain in the ass. ha!

well so what shall I do with my free evening? maybe a couple of the things I was going to try to do this afternoon. the ones that don't involve going to a store that closes before 6. jackson is going to have to make do with canned food till tomorrow. hope the poor little guy doesn't get too hungry. santiago happily eats the wet food which is good because it's for his benefit anyway. dry c/d is good, but wet is better for preventing repeat blockages. he's doing ok, by the way. ::knocks on wooden head:: he's peeing when he should and generally running around wreaking havoc as usual. I love him more than a person should love a cat but I can say the same about jackson so I guess my cats are well-loved. it startles me somewhat to know that santiago has the potential to live into my 60s, if he got the longevity genes from the same siamese gene pool his goofy genes come from. but then it startles me to realize that I'm drawing a bead on 60. I know it's 14 years off but that isn't such a long time anymore.

hm. hungry. guess sleeping all day makes you hungry? I should go for a walk after I eat. get the blood stirring.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 5th, 2008 01:09 am (UTC)
none of the medical people you've consulted have had constructive thoughts about the sleep cycle thing? fifteen+ hours is a lot of sleep. (i'd be thrilled to get 7!)

60 is only 3 years away from me, and it still sounds old. my older sister just turned 63. wowzer. at 13 or so, zack is likely to last till i hit the milestone. wonder if he'll take care of ME in my old age. :D
Aug. 5th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that the last few days' fatigue is hormone related. I get a funky cycle every now and again when the stuff only "lasts" for a week instead of the full ten or whatever number of days I'm trying to get it to last for. weird.

I've really only talked to Nan and she's pretty much like, well, whatever works for you, but she is concerned that I've been a little low lately. I think I'm going to schedule an MD appt for when I get back from Seattle. haven't been to the doctor in about six months so it's blood draw time anyway.

it's both interesting and frustrating to have such a highly-"engineered" physiology. on the one hand I have some control since it's up to me to administer hormones and psych drugs but on the other hand it is difficult to predict how the body is going to react to tinkering.

you know it's funny: when I was little I thought that adults all had a handle on being an adult. I had no idea that they were all walking around asking themselves how they ever got to be whatever age they were. now I know that nobody knows what they are doing.

Aug. 5th, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)
you sound like somebody i would like to know more about and follow along a little bit. I hope you don´t mind that i added you
Aug. 6th, 2008 10:30 am (UTC)
not at all. in fact, I added you back. :)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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